The first drop of rain falls on my eyelash

I close my eyes slowly and feel the rain

Rolling down my face…

One two three four, I go on counting

But I don’t realize that I have stopped it

And started dancing…

The heavenly drops have blessed me

With an inner vision, now I understand

Everything without any explanation….

I see elated souls, No longer thirsty

Their thirsts evaporated as soon as the drops

Knocked their hearts….

I open my eyes and see everyone

Smiling silently and their eyes

Glittering with joy….

The fresh smell of soil the green color of grass

I realize everything Is the same

As I recollect the memories of

Last year’s first drop of rain…

My soul is weeping with a mind deafening cry

all the colors are bleeding leaving the eyes dry

I feel a vacuum in my head and

I cant see anything but only red

It explodes inside killing all my senses

and my thoughts are there

sitting naked,away from my dead mind pieces…

What is wrong with us? Why are we turning into irresponsible and insensitive human beings?! Why do we love to be just spectators? Have you ever thought of doing anything for your society? Then why never tried to share or implement the idea?! The problem with all of us is – we are turning into pebbles. Yeah! We don’t know where we come from; we don’t know where to go. We just follow the stream. The surroundings flatten our senses and reduce their responsiveness towards them. They slowly kill our senses. And when our senses die, we no longer remain human. We become pebbles! Tiny, negligible, useless pebbles!
Now the question arises – what does it mean by being irresponsible and insensitive? Well, I will explain the answer with my own example.

• When I was a kid, I always was full of plans. I used to dream that ‘I will become a soldier and fight for my country … or maybe a social worker and will do something for rural parts of my country. Umm … or rather I will be prime minister and will do all the good things I want to do for my country’. That time I hardly had idea about these buzz words ‘career’ or ‘future planning’. I really wasn’t concerned about my future but sure was concerned about my country’s future. Funny eh? I had a discussion with my parents about my dreams. They found it really cute but never said ‘go ahead’. I was too weak to be a soldier and was too protected to be a social worker. So the ideas were scrapped. It happened at every stage of my life and I was taught to not to dream. ‘Career planning’ replaced my ‘dreams’ and I was literally lost.

• One day when I was coming back from college, I saw a dead body on station covered with white cloth. It was laying on the crowded platform itself. All the people were looking at it, its bare feet, and were chuckling, few were sighing but all eyes were filled with disgust. This scene was new for me. I was terribly shocked. I somehow managed to hold back my tears till I reached home. But then I burst into tears. My father asked me why I was crying. I told him the whole story. I really can’t forget his reaction. He said – “I know how it feels. I too had felt bad when I had seen it for the first time. But then I got used to it. See the world is very cruel. You have to be emotionally strong to deal with it. And by being strong I mean being insensitive. The more you think about it the more it will hurt you. Are you capable of being sensitive without shading a single tear? Then fine. But I know you are not. Most of us are not. Those who had put that white cloth on that dead body, do you really think they had cried when they saw that person dead there? Unfortunately the answer is no. In fact they must have had cursed him. It was that person’s destiny to die like that. I think he was lucky as at least someone in this world cried for him. But remember, everyday thousand people die like this and you have better things to do in life than crying for such people. Be strong and move on.”

• It was my birthday. I just switched on the TV when I saw terrible news – the tsunami waves had destroyed eastern coast of India and other south East Asian countries. Thousands of people were predicted to be dead. The videos were showing huge waves, broken homes, orphan children and a lot of chaos. I and my friends were stunned to see the news. But after few hours, we were laughing, cracking jokes, enjoying the food. Well, I know, personally I had nothing to do with the incident but I always feel guilty when I celebrate my birthday. But the guilt doesn’t stop me from celebrating.

Well, if I go on enumerating such incidences, I will end up writing a book. The moral of the story is, while acting strong and retaining our happiness, we forget other’s pains. One might ask why the hell in this world one should be concerned about others pains. The question is absolutely valid but at the same time reflects that we are running off from our responsibilities.
Actually, I am not going to speak any idealistic philosophy. Because I myself haven’t done anything great in order to get over the problem. In fact I feel I am guiltier than those people who are still unaware of the fact that they are irresponsible and insensitive.
Oh yes, forgot to mention one point. Being a responsible citizen is not equal to being a responsible human being. It is quite easy to be a good citizen but it takes a lot of courage and will power to be a good human being. Humanity is not just another English word. It carries the essence of all the human rights and duties that certifies that this homo sapien is really a human.
All I want to say is, I don’t want to live as a pebble. I want decide my own stream or rather create my own stream. I don’t want the surroundings to affect my senses. Whatever damage has happened till now has happened. I can’t change the past but sure can control my future.
Now onwards, I am going to live as a human, a sensitive and responsible human.